i wish it were love, rather than some airborne flu virus stirred up by this miserably long rainy season, but i had my first fever in YEARS this week and it was worse than i remember. the last night of fever [and there were 3] was delirium. i kept imagining that there were 4 other people in the room and they were all espresso machine competitors. but, in this day and age, having only 4 other persona to contend with means i ain’t got it so bad.
i had to change out of a sweat-soaked t-shirt twice during that night and i could never really tell if i was awake or asleep. standing up, lying down, flailing my arms, mopping my brow – i remember everything as though i imagined it. it was hell.
when the morning came the sun did not. it is still hidden behind clouds. but when the bright grey morning appeared in the sky today i smiled and made a peggy lee joke and knew my fever was broken when i was able to laugh at how miserable it was. i ate food for the first time in 2 days today. mashed up potatoes and finely ground meat, real soft like old people eat, out of a red bowl with a small spoon.
it can’t rain all the time.